The Most Important Things You'll Learn (Vol. 1, Ep. 2)

Every week on The Most Important Things You'll Learn you'll receive candy treats! invaluable life lessons for every facet of your day-to-day.
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Episode 2: Baths vs. Showers

The great debate rages. Which bear is best? Which is cleaner? Which is more relaxing? Answer to these questions and more ahead!

Admittedly I'm a little bias. If I'm honest; I haven't taken a bath since I was fourteen. I just can't bring myself to do it. It is my love for Seinfeld that ruined me forever:

"It's disgusting. I'm sitting there in a tepid pool of my own filth. All kinds of microscopic parasites and organisms having sex all around me."
                       - Kramer, in "The Shower Head"

Great wanton orgies of carrion. I just can't shake it from my mind.

Ruining baths for everyone since 1st Century, BC.

I accept the value that bubbles of fizzies add to a bath, but let's be serious: You're not tricking anyone.

Just because you can't see them doesn't mean they're not still having sex in your bath, right on top of you.

It's undeniable that sitting or lying are typically lazier superior to standing in almost any context, but if you're bathing with any kind of consistency, you're just not clean and are the arguable benefits of relaxation really worth it? The answer is: No, they're not.

In conculsion: Shower more often. Baths are just kind of gross.