Borderlands: Oh what a great, lighthearted (depending on your perspective) tale of treasure hunters seeking great riches from the mythical "Vault" located on the planet Pandora. Ultimately, the story is a little cliche, but quite fun! You start your journey on the back of a bus full of other prospective treasure hunters gallivanting around searching for "Money, Fame, Power, Women" as promised by Marcus Kincaid, the driver of said bus.
Along the way, you're guided by a Guardian Angel, who advises you of threats on the horizon and teaches you more about yourself as a character (somewhat, she's really not that great of a guide) who occasionally pops out to say hello in the corner of your screen.
She can invade my screen any day. /Swoon
You'll meet many helpful characters, who often simply communicate with you via your Echo system, a personal communicator and vitals monitor provided to you at the start of the game by your soon to be good friend, CLPT4PT (or Claptrap, offhandedly)
Ain't he cute?
These little robots will guide you through the wasteland that is Pandora, and often get themselves into trouble. You can, if you desire, save them, and they will award you with more storage capacity. Mo' Items, Mo Problems. No, seriously, you'll get guns that shoot freakin' acid and stuff! It's RAD!
You'll find underground societies of ancient aliens, which appear to be paper mache with protective shields of electricity.
They really just want hugs... With swords...
After tangoing with the lanky, horrible alien (native, maybe?) species of the planet's depths, you'll eventually come across the mythical vault! Riches, guns and hot chicks anxiously await you, wary traveler!
I can already smell the ancient venereal disease!
But wait, you`ve been mislead!
I didn`t sign on for tentacles!
So you do what any resourceful traveler does. Whip out your gun that shoots freakin`FIRE and blast the crap outta that thing until it`s deader than my love life... Wait... You weren`t supposed to hear that.
In the end, you`re praised by the Guardian Angel, who reveals that the entire time she was stringing you on like a cheap tramp because she had faith that you could vanquish that terrible beast! Hooray! Someone believes is you! (Unlike your parents)
But, the secrets don`t stop there, kids!
That beautiful angel that was guiding you around? She's not what you think she is either...
She's artificial! Just like your last sexual encounter!
That's right, a satellite! You've been following a satellite's direction while your raging hard on throbbed in your pants, hoping that you'd finally get to tap that. Bet'cha feel like an idiot now don't ya?
Oh, and that cute little robot who pretended to be your friend?
Oh, and that cute little robot who pretended to be your friend?
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